Domestic Abuse Does Not Discriminate

I remember the first time I walked out of a training course in domestic abuse. Having lasted several days, the course left me sobered. It left me reeling. Do millions of individuals across Canada and the United States alone live out this nightmare daily as we go about our lives?

I went on to complete my training and began applying these teachings in my work with mediation clients. The risk assessments became routine. The admissions of intimidation and control became a norm. Stories of substance abuse, threats and violence, one retelling echoing another. I have found myself saying to others that nothing shocks me anymore – and yet each story still does.

Each account of domestic abuse still shocks me. You never get used to it.

Yesterday I attended a day long update to this training; a biennial continuing education requirement for family mediators across Ontario. The course, provided by Toronto’s Riverdale Mediation was eye opening. Presentations were given by thought leaders from within communities with which I will plainly say I have had little exposure nor direct experience. Experiences were shared of the many men who face domestic violence, of individuals within LGBTQ communities who experience intimate partner violence and of the similarly tremendous hardships facing Canada’s indigenous peoples today. Such vastly different contexts and yet such shared struggles.

The Reality

I find myself reminded that domestic violence knows no colour, nor race, nor religion. It cares not for economic status and ignores professional rank. It affects all ages from the youngest to society’s most senior. Domestic abuse does not discriminate.

The Statistics

As reported in The Chief Public Health Officer’s Report on the State of Public Health in Canada 2016:

• 1/3 of Canadians over the age of 15 experienced abuse before the age of 15 or 16;
• 4% of Canadians over the age of 15 years said they had experienced intimate partner violence in the previous five years;
• 14% of Canadians over the age of 15 years said they had experienced emotional abuse from a spouse or commonlaw partner;
• 3% of Canadians over the age of 15 years said they had experienced financial abuse from a spouse or common-law partner at some point in the past;
• In 2010, global data estimated that 30% of women experience physical or sexual intimate partner violence at some point in their life;
• 29% of women and 15% of men said they had experienced emotional abuse from a family member at least once in their lifetime.

The Takeaway

What is the takeaway? Talk about domestic violence. We must educate ourselves, our children and the public about these such very important issues and these staggering numbers connected to them. We must speak within professional circles and with out community leaders. Teach men and women, boys and girls that this is an issue that affects everyone. We all have a duty to create awareness and positive change.

We must ensure that victims of domestic abuse are supported and given the opportunity to find their voice, to speak up and reach out for help and safety planning.

We must remind ourselves that one victim is one too many. We all know individuals who are suggesting in silence because no matter the communities in which we live, there are occurrences. Domestic abuse does not discriminate.

If you know anyone experiencing intimate partner abuse, please point them to one of the resources on this page.

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