How a Divorce Coach Can Help You Find Direction

Before getting married you had dreams of a future with your loved one standing by your side. Together, you excitedly set the date, picking out the hall, colours, flowers and band. Every last detail was picked over, considered and finally decided upon.

Then life happened. The wedding celebrations came and went. Day by day your future brought triumphs and struggles. Children came, bringing with them joy, laughter and sleepless nights. Careers evolved, accompanied by accomplishments and occasional pivots. Difficulties arose, grew, and then the came most difficult challenge of all – separation and divorce.

Sometimes separations are planned; a mutually felt and agreed upon next step as a relationship dissolves. At others a spouse is sideswiped, the recipient of unwanted information and unforeseen circumstances.

How do you plan for a divorce?

I can help.

As a Divorce Coach my goal is to equip clients with the ability to make decisions during their divorce that they can look back upon with peace of mind. I want them to know that they have the internal capacity to build a beautiful tomorrow for themselves and their children. My commitment is to work with you as a thinking partner, a support and a sounding board as you navigate this new reality. I will help you to create actionable steps and celebrate your earned achievements.

Why Divorce Coaching?

In the scenario above, we looked at the planning and forethought that goes into the preparation for a wedding, a celebration that lasts but a day. How much moreso is that forethought due then when setting the groundwork for a divorce, a circumstance that will have lasting effects for years into the future?

When spouses separate they face so many questions: Where do I find the right lawyer? What will happen with the children? How will I ever organize all the paperwork? Will we be able to afford two separate homes? How can I communicate with my spouse about this after all that’s happened? When will the fighting end? What will everyone think of us? Where do I fit in now as a single? There are so many areas that need to be covered while navigating separation and divorce. Divorce shakes one’s very identity to its core. I work alongside my clients to help them manage and break down the overwhelm and create a clear, forward reaching path.

How does divorce coaching benefit the client?

Divorce coaching offers men and women the opportunity to work with a trained professional who is equipped to help them sort through their fears and plan for their future. It offers them the opportunity to retake their footing when the ground beneath them has shifted, and to renew their resilience when they feel depleted.  I help clients to shift their focus from past hurts to the available options and choices that lie before them. I work with individuals to help them become more credible clients to their lawyers and other divorce professionals, saving clients money and ensuring their voice is heard. As a coach I am able to empathize with my clients while taking a pragmatic approach to helping them move forward, setting and meeting the goals that they have for themselves and their divorce.

When is a divorce coach brought into the process?

A divorce coach may be brought in at any stage in the divorce. I have worked with clients from the point where someone is still on the fence and contemplating separation, throughout the divorce process, or even years after the divorce has been completed and new issues crop up.

For how long does divorce coaching continue?

I offer coaching in blocks of a few one hour sessions at a time. Often that is all clients need to work through the task for which they came to coaching. Once the agreed upon sessions have been completed, clients may decide to tie up the process or continue working together toward the achievement of another goal

What keeps you going as a divorce coach?

I cherish the opportunities I have to work with single parents. Of all the parties involved in a divorce, children are those who are most greatly affected by circumstances beyond their own control. Sometimes it is the resolution of a specific parenting concern. At others it is seeing co-parents learn to work and communicate together with humility and grace, putting aside their own pride for the sake of their shared children. This is the greatest work with which I can be involved.

Do you have any advice for someone just beginning the divorce process?

While the value of keeping peace within a family unit is understood during marriage, it all too commonly falls by the wayside once a divorce has been initiated, when emotions are running high and parties fear the loss of all that is dear to them. Valuing and acting for the sake of peace during divorce takes a concerted and consistent effort. Keeping the peace does not mean backing down or being walked over, it means articulating your needs in a respectful manner and keeping an open mind that which is communicated to you. Know that looking back one day you will reap the great benefits of working toward peace in your divorce.

Do you have questions about the coaching process?
Contact me to arrange for a complimentary 30 minute discovery session.