Boy standing alone looking out over water

“Where does your dad live?”

This is the question that greeted my son as he and I walked into a friend’s house a short while ago. The question was posed by a friend with whom he has grown up; a girl who knows our family well. Ours being a single parent home is a norm that has always been quietly present, an unspoken fact in the background of our get-togethers, quietly contrasting with this girl’s family dynamics. She was, for the first time, coming to the realization that our two families bear somewhat different structures and was curious enough to ask about the apparent discrepancy.

As children reach kindergarten age they begin to comprehend nuances of the world around themRead more »

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , ,

Supporting loved ones through divorce - overlaying table laid with purple flowers

I remember the look on my dear friend’s face as though it were yesterday. It was one of shock, of pain, of utter loss. She sat there still and speechless, unsure of quite what to say. A hug, more tears, a few whispered words and the promise that she was but a call away if I needed anything at all. She had been the first stop after separating from my now ex-husband, all those years ago. Though I didn’t know at the time how I would get through tomorrow, I knew that I would need to call upon those closest to me for support in traversing the road ahead.

Since that time I have found myself looking on from a different vantage point, fielding calls from friends seeking advice on how to support another going through the process. Some of us are natural fixers, jumping in to pick up the slack and get the job done. Others are empaths. Still others simply find themselves at a loss and in the overwhelm turn the other way, hoping someone else will step in to take their place. Divorce is difficult to bear. It affects not only the nuclear family unit but oh so many hearts with whom that unit has become knitted. As with every challenge that befalls a loved one, divorce brings with it the opportunity to come together and offer the simplicity of love and support.

The difficult part is often knowing how.Read more »

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,

Upon separating, one question men and women find themselves asking is “How do I find a lawyer??” The prospect of entering divorce proceedings is a daunting one. Throughout the process, your lawyer becomes your advocate, advisor, interpreter, and partner as you navigate the legal field. However the question remains – “How do I find the right lawyer for my case who is analytic, experienced, thorough and compassionate. And how do I keep costs down?!”

Read more »

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What is alternative dispute resolution ADR displayed over picture of wedding bands on a table

What if there was a different way of resolving post-marital conflict? One that instead of tearing people apart helped them to come together, see eye to eye and work on finding solutions that benefited everyone? Marital breakdown is most often predicated by some level of conflict. Disagreements and destructive communication wear away at a couple’s relationship until their union has crumbled – and it’s precisely at this point that these two individuals are expected to sit down and establish the terms of their divorce, including parenting plans, property division and support.

Couples often assume that drawing a case through the court system is the only way to come to a divorce settlement. This is, after all, the illustration that the media has given us for years now. However in recent decades forms of alternative dispute resolution have gained popularity as more cost effective, efficient and solution oriented avenues for negotiating divorce settlements. Professionals are now assisting their clients in building cohesive co-parenting relationships, rather than engaging in an all-out courtroom battle.

Alternative Dispute Resolution, or ADR, refers to alternative methods used to keep legal conflicts out of court. There are a number of primary forms of ADR that are available to those navigating the divorce process, ranging from those where decisions rest in the hands of the parties themselves, to those where decision making authority is given over entirely to a third party.Read more »

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,