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By Posted on Posted in Children, Divorce, Divorce Coaching, Divorce Professionals, Domestic Violence, Finances, Legal, Separation No Comments

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Decades ago, getting divorced meant navigating a life event that was the exception from the norm. The divorcing individual was seen as traversing a unique path and breaking new ground. In contrast, today we are fortunate that when someone is going through the process there are others who have come before who have turned their experiences into resources for those who would come next. There are now social services, government supported resources, advocacy groups and educational initiatives dedicated to families in transition.

That said, each experience of divorce is unique and for most, the experience can feel akin to one who is walking into the darkness without a road-map or a light. The road is vast and intimidating. As with the fresh diagnosis of an illness, someone who is experiencing divorce is looking for answers, resources and information in an arena where they have no experience until they’re thrown head-first into crisis control.

Once a marriage has reached its functional end, there are questions that arise:

  • How does one initiate a divorce?
  • In what length of time will the divorce be finalized?
  • How will property be divided?
  • What is going to happen with the children?

Before plunging into the process, there are a number of recommended steps to take. Jot down all the concerns and questions you have. Clarify your starting point so that you can move forward strategically in your divorce. What questions do you need answered? What are your priorities? Mapping out your concerns will show you what information you need to find and from which various professionals you will need to seek expert opinions and advice.Read more »

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By Posted on Posted in Children, Divorce, Divorce Ed, Inspiration No Comments

Boy standing alone looking out over water

“Where does your dad live?”

This is the question that greeted my son as he and I walked into a friend’s house a short while ago. The question was posed by a friend with whom he has grown up; a girl who knows our family well. Ours being a single parent home is a norm that has always been quietly present, an unspoken fact in the background of our get-togethers, quietly contrasting with this girl’s family dynamics. She was, for the first time, coming to the realization that our two families bear somewhat different structures and was curious enough to ask about the apparent discrepancy.

As children reach kindergarten age they begin to comprehend nuances of the world around themRead more »

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By Posted on Posted in Divorce, Divorce Professionals, Domestic Violence, Separation No Comments

I remember the first time I walked out of a training course in domestic abuse. Having lasted several days, the course left me sobered. It left me reeling. Do millions of individuals across Canada and the United States alone live out this nightmare daily as we go about our lives?

I went on to complete my training and began applying these teachings in my work with mediation clients. TheRead more »

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By Posted on Posted in Community, Divorce, Inspiration, Separation No Comments

Supporting loved ones through divorce - overlaying table laid with purple flowers

I remember the look on my dear friend’s face as though it were yesterday. It was one of shock, of pain, of utter loss. She sat there still and speechless, unsure of quite what to say. A hug, more tears, a few whispered words and the promise that she was but a call away if I needed anything at all. She had been the first stop after separating from my now ex-husband, all those years ago. Though I didn’t know at the time how I would get through tomorrow, I knew that I would need to call upon those closest to me for support in traversing the road ahead.

Since that time I have found myself looking on from a different vantage point, fielding calls from friends seeking advice on how to support another going through the process. Some of us are natural fixers, jumping in to pick up the slack and get the job done. Others are empaths. Still others simply find themselves at a loss and in the overwhelm turn the other way, hoping someone else will step in to take their place. Divorce is difficult to bear. It affects not only the nuclear family unit but oh so many hearts with whom that unit has become knitted. As with every challenge that befalls a loved one, divorce brings with it the opportunity to come together and offer the simplicity of love and support.

The difficult part is often knowing how.Read more »

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By Posted on Posted in Divorce, Legal, Separation No Comments

A separation agreement is a vital document within the divorce process. The separation agreement details the terms a couple has agreed upon in relation to their divorce. While the document 

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By Posted on Posted in Divorce, Divorce Coaching, Divorce Professionals, Separation No Comments

Lighthouse over water and blue sky - How a divorce coach can help you find direction

Before getting married you had dreams of a future with your loved one standing by your side. Together, you excitedly set the date, picking out the hall, colours, flowers and band. Every last detail was picked over, considered and finally decided upon.

Then life happened. The wedding celebrations came and went. Day by day your future brought triumphs and struggles. Children came, bringing with them joy, laughter and sleepless nights. Careers evolved, accompanied by accomplishments and occasional pivots. Difficulties arose, grew, and then the came most difficult challenge of all – separation and divorce.

Sometimes separations are planned; a mutually felt and agreed upon next step as a relationship dissolves. At others a spouse is sideswiped, the recipient of unwanted information and unforeseen circumstances.

How do you plan for a divorce?

I can help.

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By Posted on Posted in Alternative Dispute Resolution, Divorce, Legal No Comments

What is alternative dispute resolution ADR displayed over picture of wedding bands on a table

What if there was a different way of resolving post-marital conflict? One that instead of tearing people apart helped them to come together, see eye to eye and work on finding solutions that benefited everyone? Marital breakdown is most often predicated by some level of conflict. Disagreements and destructive communication wear away at a couple’s relationship until their union has crumbled – and it’s precisely at this point that these two individuals are expected to sit down and establish the terms of their divorce, including parenting plans, property division and support.

Couples often assume that drawing a case through the court system is the only way to come to a divorce settlement. This is, after all, the illustration that the media has given us for years now. However in recent decades forms of alternative dispute resolution have gained popularity as more cost effective, efficient and solution oriented avenues for negotiating divorce settlements. Professionals are now assisting their clients in building cohesive co-parenting relationships, rather than engaging in an all-out courtroom battle.

Alternative Dispute Resolution, or ADR, refers to alternative methods used to keep legal conflicts out of court. There are a number of primary forms of ADR that are available to those navigating the divorce process, ranging from those where decisions rest in the hands of the parties themselves, to those where decision making authority is given over entirely to a third party.Read more »

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By Posted on Posted in Divorce, Inspiration, Separation No Comments

The Beginning of a Journey

Divorce.

It can be an intimidating word. Paradoxically divorce often brings feelings of finality at the same time as endless questions are swimming before the mind’s eye. The future stands before you. You’ve put in months and years to creating a home you had hoped would last long into life’s horizons. You’ve built memories, raised children, invested time and energy and now it’s time to bid these years adieu.

You pack your emotional suitcase, discerning which valuables you’ll want to take on the road with you and which you’ll leave behind. It’s been awhile since you traveled solo, no other adult along for the ride. Read more »

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