title: demystifying child custody, girl over picture of girl on a swing

As parents we live for our children, often setting aside personal needs and wants in order to provide them with an optimal upbringing. Ask a parent what their deepest desire for their children is and more often than not their answer will be simply for their children to have a healthy, happy life and an understanding that they are loved. In cases of marital or relationship breakdown, parents are inevitably faced with one of the most difficult experiences that parenthood may bring: navigating division of custodial rights and parenting time in planning for their children’s future. In order for parents to knowledgeably make these critical decisions for their children’s future, it is helpful to first understand the concepts behind them.

The Meaning of “Child Custody”

One of the greatest misconceptions when it comes to discussing child custody isRead more »

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Title Image, back to school after divorce, elementary school age, overlayed upon apple and schoolbooks

Change is in the air, floating in on the late summer breeze. Another year of school is upon us. You’ve been gathering supplies and getting back to routines – and if you and your spouse have recently been through a divorce, there are additional preparations that you’ll want to ensure are completed before the start of the new school year. Both emotionally and logistically there are a number of areas to which it’s important to give attention if your family structure has recently undergone such a major change as divorce.

School can often provide an oasis for children who have seen significant changes at home. The comfort of friends and consistent routines, coupled with academic and extracurricular engagements during the school day offer solace. By being proactive and taking the following steps, you canRead more »

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With summer around the corner and school about to let out, families everywhere are putting the finishing touches on summer travel plans. Whether headed for the beach, cross country to visit family or on a sightseeing trip, family travel is a time to build lasting memories and shared experiences. These trips are a time to write stories that families will fondly recall for years afterward.

Are you a newly single parent wondering how to get back into the travel game?

Travel plans can belong to single parents too, with just a little forethought and planning. I’ve jam packed this post with tips and tricks to make travelling solo as economical and frazzle free as possible!Read more »

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Title superimposed over confused cartoon man

Decades ago, getting divorced meant navigating a life event that was the exception from the norm. The divorcing individual was seen as traversing a unique path and breaking new ground. In contrast, today we are fortunate that when someone is going through the process there are others who have come before who have turned their experiences into resources for those who would come next. There are now social services, government supported resources, advocacy groups and educational initiatives dedicated to families in transition.

That said, each experience of divorce is unique and for most, the experience can feel akin to one who is walking into the darkness without a road-map or a light. The road is vast and intimidating. As with the fresh diagnosis of an illness, someone who is experiencing divorce is looking for answers, resources and information in an arena where they have no experience until they’re thrown head-first into crisis control.

Once a marriage has reached its functional end, there are questions that arise:

  • How does one initiate a divorce?
  • In what length of time will the divorce be finalized?
  • How will property be divided?
  • What is going to happen with the children?

Before plunging into the process, there are a number of recommended steps to take. Jot down all the concerns and questions you have. Clarify your starting point so that you can move forward strategically in your divorce. What questions do you need answered? What are your priorities? Mapping out your concerns will show you what information you need to find and from which various professionals you will need to seek expert opinions and advice.Read more »

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Boy standing alone looking out over water

“Where does your dad live?”

This is the question that greeted my son as he and I walked into a friend’s house a short while ago. The question was posed by a friend with whom he has grown up; a girl who knows our family well. Ours being a single parent home is a norm that has always been quietly present, an unspoken fact in the background of our get-togethers, quietly contrasting with this girl’s family dynamics. She was, for the first time, coming to the realization that our two families bear somewhat different structures and was curious enough to ask about the apparent discrepancy.

As children reach kindergarten age they begin to comprehend nuances of the world around themRead more »

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I remember the first time I walked out of a training course in domestic abuse. Having lasted several days, the course left me sobered. It left me reeling. Do millions of individuals across Canada and the United States alone live out this nightmare daily as we go about our lives?

I went on to complete my training and began applying these teachings in my work with mediation clients. TheRead more »

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Supporting loved ones through divorce - overlaying table laid with purple flowers

I remember the look on my dear friend’s face as though it were yesterday. It was one of shock, of pain, of utter loss. She sat there still and speechless, unsure of quite what to say. A hug, more tears, a few whispered words and the promise that she was but a call away if I needed anything at all. She had been the first stop after separating from my now ex-husband, all those years ago. Though I didn’t know at the time how I would get through tomorrow, I knew that I would need to call upon those closest to me for support in traversing the road ahead.

Since that time I have found myself looking on from a different vantage point, fielding calls from friends seeking advice on how to support another going through the process. Some of us are natural fixers, jumping in to pick up the slack and get the job done. Others are empaths. Still others simply find themselves at a loss and in the overwhelm turn the other way, hoping someone else will step in to take their place. Divorce is difficult to bear. It affects not only the nuclear family unit but oh so many hearts with whom that unit has become knitted. As with every challenge that befalls a loved one, divorce brings with it the opportunity to come together and offer the simplicity of love and support.

The difficult part is often knowing how.Read more »

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A separation agreement is a vital document within the divorce process. The separation agreement details the terms a couple has agreed upon in relation to their divorce. While the document 

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Lighthouse over water and blue sky - How a divorce coach can help you find direction

Before getting married you had dreams of a future with your loved one standing by your side. Together, you excitedly set the date, picking out the hall, colours, flowers and band. Every last detail was picked over, considered and finally decided upon.

Then life happened. The wedding celebrations came and went. Day by day your future brought triumphs and struggles. Children came, bringing with them joy, laughter and sleepless nights. Careers evolved, accompanied by accomplishments and occasional pivots. Difficulties arose, grew, and then the came most difficult challenge of all – separation and divorce.

Sometimes separations are planned; a mutually felt and agreed upon next step as a relationship dissolves. At others a spouse is sideswiped, the recipient of unwanted information and unforeseen circumstances.

How do you plan for a divorce?

I can help.

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