A Year of Conquering Fear

There’s something invigorating about the year’s beginning. Everywhere we glance there is another article about new year’s resolutions or reflections on the past year’s accomplishments. Mid-way into January, the daylight hours are incrementally beginning to lengthen. Despite the frosty cold outside, we begin to think of the warmer days to come, not too far off; subconsciously we begin mapping out the months ahead.

Recently I heard the idea from Gretchen Rubin, authour of The Happiness Project, suggesting that we choose a one word theme for the year rather than a creating a whole list of resolutions for the year. I found this to be a fascinating idea. As a divorce coach I often work with clients on proactively creating SMART goals. The idea of the SMART goal means that any goal that you aspire to accomplish will be:

Specific – What in particular are you looking to achieve within your area of focus?
Measurable – How will you track your progress?
Attainable – Are you setting yourself up for success?
Relevant – Is this goal something that speaks to you as an individual?
Time-bound – At what increments will you be able to measure your movement?

What I especially appreciate about giving the year a one word theme is the poignant motivation that it continually offers in so many varied circumstances. This isn’t about sitting down and writing lists of lofty goals. Rather, it’s about looking within to the areas in which we’d like to see personal growth and maturity. It’s a measuring stick by which we can assess our progress monthly, weekly or daily, almost at a glance. So how then, do we go about determining the year’s theme? Well, this might range from the serious to the most imaginative. It can be philosophical or visually descriptive, so long as it speaks to you.

The word (or rather phrase) that I’ve decided to take on is that of “conquering fear.” The truth is that I wasn’t hard pressed to find my theme. This was instead one of those moments of inspiration that occasionally appears to us. In a moment’s clarity I realized how much fear has held me back this year, as it does all of us occasionally.

The fears and uncertainties that we carry with us can prove paralyzing, gone unchecked. They hinder forward progress as we become so caught up in the many undesirable eventualities that may possibly (though rarely actually) befall us. What might happen if that business strategy doesn’t work – or if it does? Is it worthwhile nurturing the relationship with that acquaintance who suggested meeting for coffee? Is this really the right paint colour for that accent wall or might I be stuck with something I don’t like? So many questions, so many worries. A byproduct of adulthood and the responsibility of making constant calculated decisions is that we all too often find ourselves defaulting to worry.

A relationship’s end and the major transitional period brought on by divorce can bring on a whole onslaught of fears and worries. Is fear of financial instability holding you back fro compiling your financial documents? Do you hide your separation out of trepidation, worrying what others might think? Have you avoided setting boundaries with your ex because you fear that it might mean the relationship is really over? By setting smart goals along with the aid of a divorce coach or a supportive friend, you can indeed move beyond your fears and begin to see true progress.

The truth of it is that life is all about taking that next step and – here’s the clincher – seeing where we land. Mistakes are there for us to learn and grow from. A new path always begins where another has ended.

This year will be my year of conquering those fears and stepping forward. I will try new business strategies. I will step outside of myself to set up meetings with colleagues and moms who are looking to make new friends. I’ll prioritize time for self-care and self-reflection, even if it means coming face to face with some of those real and deep thoughts that we’re so often running ahead of. I will embrace opportunities to practice what I recommend to others. I will work to reach the core of my fears and move beyond them.

So that’s my theme for the year, conquering fear. Here’s to a year of growth, health and happiness for us all.

Where would you like this year to take you?
Share your one word theme (or phrase) for the coming year in the comments below!