Title over picture of flower: Jewish Holidays After Divorce - Creating a Parenting Plan that Works

In preparing to assist Jewish clients in the work of creating effective parenting plans and schedules, it is important to understand how the Jewish holidays fit into the secular calendar. While holidays are traditionally a time of familial togetherness, a time when memories are created and shared, facing the holiday season after divorce can create feelings of stress and anxiety. By helping clients to plan accordingly, professionals can play a significant role in alleviating these concerns.Read more »

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Person staring out at the sea. and dark sky. Caption: Reaching out of the darkness - finding the courage to ask for help
Recently I was speaking with a woman who recounted a deeply difficult experience she had undergone a number of years ago. This experience had spanned the course of a number of months, during which she had been witness to daily traumas. Even as she wished that she could remove herself from the situation, she found herself not knowing how to do so until a number of months later.
 
She described to me the isolation she had felt and how she had shouldered the burden largely on her own. She did not feel that she could reach out for support at the time, afraid of overwhelming those around her. She let me in to her story from that difficult period, the depression she had weathered and the toll that it continues to take upon her mental health as she now wrestles, working through PTSD. Thankfully, she was able to move forward and has engaged a support team to assist her in her healing journey.

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If you’re anything like me, you appreciate that the written word is a magical thing. From the youngest of ages, I recall being pleasure of being read to, subsequently growing into an avid reader myself. With a a bookseller for an uncle and voracious readers as parents, it was inevitable that I would come to raise the next generation with this same sentiment.

A photographed collection of children's book covers relating to separation and divorce. The table is entirely covered by these books.

A good book takes you in, offering security, fostering the imagination, providing a sense of connection. Today, in honour of Family Literacy Day, I have curated a list of the some of the (in my opinion) best children’s books about divorce that are currently available on the market. Read more »

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Steps with Title Just One Step Ahead

Dear Recently Separated, this post is for you.
Dear I Don’t Know Whether to Stay or Go, this post is for you.
Dear Overwhelmed Single Parent, this post is for you.

Dear Nobody Gets Just How Difficult This Is, this post, most of all, is for you.

For many, New Year’s can be an invigorating time; a time to look at the year ahead and dream of all that we are going to accomplish. After introspection and an assessment of how far we have come over the course of the past year, we create lists and charts elabourating upon the areas that we are going to improve in our lives. You might be looking at your health, your career or your co-parenting and evaluating the ways in which you could improve upon the status quo. You may feel inspired and prepared to make changes, ready to run out of the gates as that clock strikes midnight on December 31st.

But perhaps not.

Perhaps this is the year-end where you’ve felt bedraggled, alone and emotionally drained.Read more »

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Understanding Best Interests of the Child
The Legal Definition

The Best Interests of the Child (BIC) is a primary factor by which living conditions and custody arrangements are determined in cases of familial breakdown. If you know someone who has experienced family law proceedings, it is likely that they will have heard the phrase a multitude of times prior to the stamping of a divorce decree.

While the phrase has made its way into colloquial terminology and is often mentioned loosely with regards to the creating of parenting plans, the actual definition of the term is lesser known.Read more »

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Spring cleaning after divorce

Spring is a time for renewal. It’s a time when we throw the windows open, welcoming in the fresh air and the long awaited warmer weather (ok, perhaps still waiting for the warmer weather this year). We clear out the old to make space for the new. For some, the idea of a spring cleaning and a fresh start carries with it a poignant significance.

If you’ve been through a separation or divorce over the course of the last few months, you might welcome this opportunity to begin anew. While acknowledgingRead more »

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Title Image, back to school after divorce, elementary school age, overlayed upon apple and schoolbooks

Change is in the air, floating in on the late summer breeze. Another year of school is upon us. You’ve been gathering supplies and getting back to routines – and if you and your spouse have recently been through a divorce, there are additional preparations that you’ll want to ensure are completed before the start of the new school year. Both emotionally and logistically there are a number of areas to which it’s important to give attention if your family structure has recently undergone such a major change as divorce.

School can often provide an oasis for children who have seen significant changes at home. The comfort of friends and consistent routines, coupled with academic and extracurricular engagements during the school day offer solace. By being proactive and taking the following steps, you canRead more »

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Gavel and legal statutes

Choosing a lawyer is amongst the most significant decisions you’ll be making throughout your divorce process. The lawyer you choose to retain will have a major impact on the sort of divorce settlement you create. A lawyer should be thorough, efficient, proficient in family law, and compassionate.

Being mindful of the following ideas will assist you in finding the lawyer that is best suited to represent your needs, and to ensuring that you are aware of your legal rights and obligations.Read more »

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Title superimposed over confused cartoon man

Decades ago, getting divorced meant navigating a life event that was the exception from the norm. The divorcing individual was seen as traversing a unique path and breaking new ground. In contrast, today we are fortunate that when someone is going through the process there are others who have come before who have turned their experiences into resources for those who would come next. There are now social services, government supported resources, advocacy groups and educational initiatives dedicated to families in transition.

That said, each experience of divorce is unique and for most, the experience can feel akin to one who is walking into the darkness without a road-map or a light. The road is vast and intimidating. As with the fresh diagnosis of an illness, someone who is experiencing divorce is looking for answers, resources and information in an arena where they have no experience until they’re thrown head-first into crisis control.

Once a marriage has reached its functional end, there are questions that arise:

  • How does one initiate a divorce?
  • In what length of time will the divorce be finalized?
  • How will property be divided?
  • What is going to happen with the children?

Before plunging into the process, there are a number of recommended steps to take. Jot down all the concerns and questions you have. Clarify your starting point so that you can move forward strategically in your divorce. What questions do you need answered? What are your priorities? Mapping out your concerns will show you what information you need to find and from which various professionals you will need to seek expert opinions and advice.Read more »

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Boy standing alone looking out over water

“Where does your dad live?”

This is the question that greeted my son as he and I walked into a friend’s house a short while ago. The question was posed by a friend with whom he has grown up; a girl who knows our family well. Ours being a single parent home is a norm that has always been quietly present, an unspoken fact in the background of our get-togethers, quietly contrasting with this girl’s family dynamics. She was, for the first time, coming to the realization that our two families bear somewhat different structures and was curious enough to ask about the apparent discrepancy.

As children reach kindergarten age they begin to comprehend nuances of the world around themRead more »

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